Monday, June 8, 2009

She was unbearable

Dear Kelly,

I knew I didn't like you before you boarded the Red Line train to Shady Grove at Union Station. Before we reached Judiciary Square, I learned what a rude young lady you are, only confirming my suscpicions. In short, you think you are better than your brunette companion because you go to "White, conservative AU," wanted to go to a private elementary school, but suffered through a public school before ending up a better high school, which with all its AP courses, "was on 20/20 like all the time, didn't you see it?"

You're also a better person because you wanted to "help" New Orleans (you didn't go), are "super" close with your parents, and love DC off-campus, even if it's dirty and full of minorities! And totally scary! Gosh, you are a trooper. I've maken a note and intend to nominate you for your willingness to ride the Metro, which must be super scary.

There's a lesson here, Kelly. If you weren't so LOUD I wouldn't know how mean and judgemental you are when forced to commute and intend conferences with your peers, or feel compelled to mock you by way of blog post, while sitting on the train.

Regrettably there is a second lesson. I know your name because you wildly flung your limbs with reckless abandon to the dismay of those around you. And all of your personal information was in your left hand. Gee, thanks! Now I know even more about someone I was trying to avoid.

Anyway, best of luck to you in this scary city, Kelly! Please be more mindful on your future off-campus excurions.



(also posted here)

No comments: