Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Awww, how sweet!

Today's fake New York Times (via), dated July 4, 2009 ("All the news we hope to print") includes the story "New York Bike Path Expanded Dramatically". The subhed reads "Miles of Segregated Bicycle Lanes Will Be Paved By 2010."

, thanks you guys:

Over the next two years, every other avenue will also receive a full bike lane, blocked off from traffic, while every fifth crosstown street will be opened exclusively to bicyclists and pedestrians beginning next month.

Mark Blair, a transit worker from Queens, was busy re-timing traffic lights for bicycle speed. “Riding your bike up or down the avenue, the traffic lights are going to change in sync,” explained Blair. “You ride 10-15 miles per hour, and you’ll be hitting all greens.” ...

Bloomberg recently visited Paris to examine its popular public bicycle rental program. Although he initially expressed doubts as to whether it could work, public pressure has helped convince him it can, and national legislation sealed the deal. (For more on the new transportation initiatives, also see “Crumbling Infrastructure Brings Opportunities” )

Man, I'd never reach a green light. It's too bad Bloomberg is in this version of the future.

The papers were handed out at subway stations. City Room says to hold onto it because it's a collector's item. Anyone get a copy? I know a lot of you wouldn't pass a free NYT shoved in your face.

Other headlines include IRAQ WAR ENDS and U.S. PATRIOT ACT REPEALED. (Obama, take the hint!) ...So, that's their future. What's yours?

UPDATE via Gothamist, the paper include NYT journalists (awesome!) and may have cost up for $250k, though the pranksters report that it was $100k. CODEPINK, Anti-Advertising Agency, United for Peace and Justice, Improv Everywhere, Evil Twin, Not An Alternative, and Cultures of Resistance and other also ran the project.

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